my girlfriend won 't let me help her

Believe me im a girl.. She has met my whole family and friends within the first month of dating. Maybe she thinks that not telling you about it is better because she genuinely has no interest of getting back with her ex. I've been married to my wife for a year and a half. What should I say or do? either I meet her parents by the weekend or I'm gonna end our relationshipI dont know if this is the right thing to do or not, but I have to have some self respect and put my foot down sometimeI've literally been begging her for the past year atleast, to meet her parents, even if its just as simple as me picking her up at home and her and I go out to dinner. When someone hides the way they live from you, then that is a big red flag, because if you are serious about the person you take a big gamble when you marry them or even live with them. I beg her to let me come meet her parents, have dinner there, get to know her family and friendsbut to no avail. That was well-said my friend. I don't want to waste my time or theirs. Part of the key to a long and happy relationship is that you expect more from your partner, and you give more of yourself in exchange. Now: lets be real here, if youre in a relationship, there is not a single reason to still hold on to nudes from past partners or people you talked to, who you only had sex with once. When she wants a guy to hold her and cuddle her and treat her nice she's glad to see you. She keeps beating herself up these past few months, as she repeatedly finds she can no longer fit into certain articles of clothing she once loved. 1) She doesn't trust you. Thanks for the great advice and your time. So what am I doing about it? If you respect her boundaries and dont push her to show you her phone, then this relationship might last for a long time! When she doesn't let me pay for things, I feel like I am not doing my job as a man and I feel incompetent. Over the past year and a half we have developed a relationship like I've never been a part of before. How to differentiate between friendship and feelings? Her mom always takes her everywhere cause her mom hates doing things alone even though her husband drives. See, I'm a pretty affectionate guy for the most part, especially when it's just her and I alone. You could for starts wait until she is ready to commit 100%. If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach. and our But those little changes have a cumulative effect. conversation with her about it. You block her on every form of social media out there, you spamfilter her email and you block her number. New Season Prophetic Prayers and Declarations [NSPPD] || 6th - Facebook Which means, if she is going to do it with your money, while you want only the best for her in doing so, it will cause a conflict with her parents that she wants to avoid. Anyhow, what should I do here? I want that, I want the old fashonedness of picking my girlfriend up at home and taking her out, then walking her to her door, giving her a kiss, and going home alone. I think the weight gain is less a cause and more of a symptom of your fiances depression as is your increasing lack of attraction to her. My [25 M] GF [23 F] of three years, refused to let me break up with her. I feel that for me to even care about it makes me a shallow prick. Im sorry, its over. Whatever will she do, wherever shall she go? Ive been with her for 8 months now we are both in our 30s. You dont dress as sharply as you used to. I keep messing up relationships. This week, its all about doing the necessary, hard work. Like me on Facebook to see more articles like this in your feed. I told her that was the crux of it right there. So I told her that actions speak louder than the words I love you and when you add all her actions up, the lack of letting me into her life aka family and friends, the lying and sneaking around, and not letting me know major things that are happening with her life, like the diagnosis of the mass in her breast by being vague and not telling me; that I no longer trust her. Same thing happened, she begged and cried and took my keys so I couldn't leave. In girl world there's only two reasons why a girl would keep you away from her lifebut I ject herself into yours. When I first met him Hi folks, dating question im new to this whole world after coming out a We've been dating a year and a half and don't live together. I'm a 31 year old woman, who has been dating a 23 year old man for the past Can't get over her! How to leave my girlfriend who won't let me - Quora I helped her move into a new apartment with my cousin and I met her mother and aunt for roughly 5 minutes of which I was carrying stuff up flights of stairs. Scan this QR code to download the app now. How would. Lets start with the obvious question: is it shallow of you to be less attracted to your fiance because of her weight gain? I certainly do hope she caves in, otherwise I cannot see the longevity with the relationship. Im already a fat piece of shit that nobody likes, I may as well just stuff my fucking face with garbage like the garbage person I am., This is also why people wrestling with depression will often resist the idea of doing anything to make things better. ", like you're being retarted or clingy for being interested in what she's doing today. I've had relationships in the past where everyone has met and those relationship didn't work out. How can you forgive someone for cheating? My problem is it seems my gf is really hesitant to take me along when she goes to see her children or siblings. I felt like even if I managed to get past her, eventually I would have to return for my things and then the argument would spark up again. If your girlfriend has an ex who wants her back, she might be trying to hide that from you in order to not have any drama in her life. A lot of people who suffer from depression will try to self-medicate with things like food or alcohol or drugs and others will use those same tools for self-harm. The first time that I broke up with her she sobbed, she shouted, she literally got on her knees and begged me not to leave her and I felt so awful because I care for her so deeply and never wanted to hurt her. Thanks! So last week she asked me to write a paper for her because she is finally going to go to the eye doctor because she absolutely needs glasses. I was not upset about the tattoo but by the fact she was acting like a ninja and lying again. Im sorry that she doesnt have the funds to live on her own (though to be honest, I have my doubts about that), but her staying with you is just one more way that she will try to force you back into a relationship with her. She feels awkward about me not being able to come over her house, and that it isn't fair on me, so she'd rather see me the week after. Both times she physically stopped me from leaving and I eventually caved in. Did you have a relationship with someone dealing with depression? Now: I know this is probably the bullet point youve dreaded the most and unfortunately, it is one of the most common scenarios. All rights reserved. I know she's not even struggling financially because we have discussed finances a couple times and she's actually coming close to her first million in investments and savings. Could religion, family, work etc. The thing is, you guys need to talk about this and how important it is to you, no need to think about hurting her about this issue, because she could be shielding you from them because they had a good relationship with her ex and not ready to accept another. If you want to go the extra mile, you may want to let friends of hers know that this is happening and shell need a couch to crash on but at the end of the day, you need her out. If she likes someone else, and they have been exchanging messages, she might not want you to see that. That is some awesome advice! I met a guy online, we haven't met, only texted but he says he already loves me? She has became very distant from me as she hasn't seen me in almost 5 weeks (well, she seen me one day between that time but only half an hour and told me to go home because of her period). I love him more than anything else in the world. Now I know what you're thinking, that I'm some kind of loser that she doesnt want her friends and family to know about.NOT! The fact that you're pushing so hard could be the thing that's driving her away. All rights reserved. If these people any of them knew that she had a committed guy on the hook for as long as you two have been together they'd give her a dressing-down-talking-to and she wants to avoid that. Reddit, Inc. 2023. It isn't anything serious yet, as it's still early days, but the situation is incredibly similar. I think a convo about sexual wants, needs, and boundaries is the most direct way to . You aren't marrying the objects they're surrounded by, having said this, you do need someone that is organised in life. I want my bf to show he is serious about our relationship before I subject anyone through meeting each other again and getting to know each other. Think you're right. No bills, groceries, gas, etc. My girlfriend won't let me take care of her. I mean think about it: if you truly trust her, do you really need to see her phone? That tells me she does have feelings for me and that from now on it's time to give her space and all the time she needs. She doesnt want her parents to know you because then they may comment on her going out with a series of guys or want to meet you; her friends know what she is up to maybe giving out her phone number and flirting. Am i foolish to think she'll ever let me into her life? She doesnt partake in any regular exercise routines either. For more information, please see our She just wont let it happen! Once again, thank you and this gave me better insight . This type of problem that I have, happens until today. Continue to be a friend to the person, but have no expectation of moving on. Cookie Notice But you should never have let the conversation last that long. To address the girl poster above, my girlfriend has said that she doesnt really want to get married, but she wants all sorts of diamond rings and gifts, but if I talk about us sharing a life together or moving in together one day she dodges the subject. Or at least it hasnt yet. Heres the thing: yeah, its hard to stand up to hours upon hours of pleading and crying. She's been trying to win me back by buying me gifts and treating me nicely (although she's still prone to moodswings), but it's really doing nothing to change my feelings. More than likely, she will, WHEN SHE'S READY. Eviction can cost $1,000 to $10,000 in legal fees, and . Broke up with the most amazing girl I've ever met, right choice? Anyhow, since we've been together, I've been all about her, in every way, but deep down, always had an issue with her affection, or lack there of. She says she loves me and wants to be with me, we text each day but we don't talk on the phone except for when she gets out of work until she gets home then tells me she has to go cause she's stressed. As soon as the conversation went beyond its over, it quit being a break-up and started becoming a negotiation. Its like constant confirmation of all of our worst fears and beliefs. And between now and your next relationship, work on building stronger boundaries. In the past she said she wanted to get a tattoo and asked me what I thought, I told her the truth that I find them very unattractive to the point of being an anti-***** and that I would prefer she waits a while because if she sees herself with me once im done with medical school and Im a doctor going to numerous fundraisers and charity events I cant be with someone who has a huge tattoo. Although controlling behaviors don't always come from a malicious place, they can still be harmful to romantic relationships. Ask Dr. NerdLove: My Girlfriend Won't Let Me Break Up With Her - Kotaku Did a quick chit chat and gave them both a hug and kiss on the cheek and that was the only time I have met anyone from her life this happened in the beginning of month 3. At first I wondered if she'd ever love me more then I prayed that I would love her less. Your girlfriend has nothing to hide on her phone. Don't force it. One important thing you can do is ask yourself why you want to be able to look through her phone in the first place. But you already know this. I'm in a similar situation and after a recent conversation think I'm a little clearer (at least in my world). My girlfriend has a lot of stress and anxiety and won't let me help her at all. Granted, my place is a little more suted for our relationshipI have my own house. If you've just started dating, this isn't too unlikely. While its sweet that you want to explain why you want to break up with her, its also the reason why you havent been able to end this relationship decisively. So here we go. You also know what you need to do: dump this woman so hard her grandparents divorce retroactively. you are 18 or older, you read and agreed to the. Is there something wrong with me wanting an invitation into her life after a year and a half of being in a comitted relationship with this girl? Let her know you're there for her when she needs, and then back off. We don't live together because her parents don't approve of cohabitation before marriage. Maybe she has a criminal record or a history of addiction. The reasons aren't important, other than to say that she's actually a great person and I still love and respect her very much. She got very upset and defensive and begged me for a second chance. So I asked her straight up, is the reason you always come up with excuses for me not to meet your family because of my race, religion, or the fact that i'm not bilingual. She will let me pay for everything on dates because she says my taste is too expensive for her budget. Please, give me some oppinions here! And, in a lot of cases, rightfully so. You can also tell her that she doesnt have to show you anything on her phone as long as she communicates openly with you. I have come to be unhappy with it as well, but I cannot say so for risk of hurting her feelings. Lol, certainly agree with you on the "live in a cave" part, that is totally true. Well you're story is so shockingly like my own it gives me goose bumps. You see, when a girl has an ex who wants her back, that can cause a lot of problems in the relationship. One: she has a life she doesn't want you to know about. She might even be sending them pictures, which is why she doesnt want you to see her phone. Because we already believe were worthless, awful people, we often end up doing things to punish ourselves, like overeating. Move on, 2. I really don't know, im starting to feel like I dont know anything about this girl, but I've let her become my whole world. I dont know whats wrong with me, 7 Methods to Reignite Intimacy in a Sexless Marriage, eNotAlone Relationships, Dating, Breakup, Marriage, Love Articles. Both of those answers always yielded an emphatic "No". Now I don't know what to do. Why do women cheat? Even when eating an apple, she will munch on it until it is almost gone. And if she doesnt want you to see this evidence, she is going to hide it from you. I told her, things change or maybe we just become great friends, because I'm not happy and I'm not getting enough out of this relationship. I'm keeping my boyfriend out of my circle because he has not proposed. A lot of people do this because they dont want to be hurt, but its up to you if you think that this is a good reason or not. NO there's nothing wrong with wanting to meet her family. I'm sorry but dont be suckered into thinking that proposing to her will fix your problem, because it wont at all. Of course, when that is the case, she probably doesnt want you to see her phone because you might stumble across one of those people. You can talk to her about how you want to respect her boundaries, but that you would simply like to understand her reasons so that you dont have to unnecessarily overthink the situation. Keep in mind that your girlfriend is a human being with their own privacy, and she deserves to have boundaries. If nothing changes then you have to face the harsh reality. She also began taking antidepressant medication in the past half year, which may contribute to weight gain, I have heard.
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